Coping with ADD part 7: Beating the morning blues

Mornings can be tough in an ADD household.

Many ADDers have blood sugar issues. Even if they are not obviously hyper they may still be hypoglycemic. In English, their brain needs to be fed regularly or it runs on empty. Without fuel the part of the brain that makes us human is shut down. What's left is the primitive part, the reptile brain. A brain on empty has no impulse control. It cannot think.

Let's picture the early morning in 'Chateau Chaos', home of 9 year old Andy. Andy and his Mom both have ADD. Mom has not come across Flylady yet.

It is 7 AM. Andy last ate at dinner 12 hours ago.
ADDers often have a hard time with transitions. Falling asleep is not easy and waking up isn't either.
Andy wakes up ravenously hungry but too out of it to realize that he needs food.

Andy's first task of the day is getting dressed.
His closet is a nightmare with far too many clothes. Mom is a pack-rat who loves thrift shops and garage sales. She is also an ADD procrastinator.
She honestly plans to go through Andy's stuff one of these days. But life is so busy, and the task looks so daunting. She just doesn't know where to start. Maybe she'll do it tomorrow.

A lot of Andy's clothes are on the floor. Some are clean, some are dirty. Some fit,some don't. Some need buttons put on or zippers repaired. Some are OK but he hates them.
The simple chore of getting dressed is totally overwhelming.

Andy responds first by not getting up till he has been yelled at a few times. Then he has a screaming fit till Mom comes to help him assemble an outfit.
In the process even more stuff ends up on the floor. His half-finished homework is somewhere underneath there.

Feeling cranky and irritable Andy heads to the kitchen for breakfast.
Mom, Dad, and big sister are milling around getting ready for work or school. Mom is frantically hunting for big sister's gym strip.

Andy helps himself to his favorite sugary cereal for breakfast. His brain will be running on empty before recess. The kids have to run to catch the school bus. Andy's homework never made it to his school bag.

All interactions with his family so far have been based on anger and frustration.
The poor kid is stressed out before the day has even begun!

Now compare this to a FlyLady morning.

Andy had a nutritious snack just before bedtime. His brain-fuel gauge is not quite at zero yet. Andy's alarm goes off ten minutes before he has to get up. Some juice is ready by his bed to give him a blood sugar boost right away.

Mom and Andy have tackled the closet monster the FlyLady way. That means 15 minutes at the time, and FLING what doesn't make you smile! Andy's clothes are all in his closet or in his hamper.

Part of the evening routine is laying out clothes for the morning. All he has to do now is put them on. By the time he joins the family in the kitchen Andy feels halfway human.

Breakfast today is a nutrition-loaded smoothie and some whole grain toast with organic peanut butter. Andy's brain will be just fine for most of the morning.

As part of the evening routine everyone's school stuf has been placed on a small table by the door, the "launching pad".
Andy's homework is done and in his pack. The kids leave home for the bus with time to spare. Nobody had to yell or got yelled at. There were smiles and hugs instead.

Won't Andy have a much better chance at a good day in school today?

Will regulating blood sugar and tidying the room solve all your ADD problems?
Only if your child has 'nothing but' hypoglycemia mimicking ADD.
But it is a great place to start. Side effect: the whole family will be healthier.

Some of you may be new to all this nutrition stuff. No worries! Cooking from scratch really is not rocket science. It also doesn't have to take much more time than nuking the take-out, and think of the money you'll save.

I have heard rave reviews of the service of Leanne Ely, a nutritionist and sidekick to FlyLady. She will take you by the hand, show you how to cook and do the planning for you. The small subscription fee will pay for itself. There is lots of free information on the site as well.

For people who like to know which foods have which nutrients, there is http://www.whfoods.org/
Recipes, analyses, cooking lessons, a newsletter. I would love to get the cookbook but meanwhile there is wealth of information, all free.

Coping with ADD part 6: Fuel that brain!

Hypoglycemia or excessively low blood sugar is one of many conditions that cause ADD-like symptoms.

Some kids may be diagnosed with ADD when they have "nothing but" Hypoglycemia.

AND many ADD or bipolar people have a sensitive carbohydrate metabolism, so hypoglycemia can be one of their problems.

Hypoglycemia is one of the "ADD is nothing but" factors.

Can you see how this can lead to a lot of misunderstanding?
ADD is like a puzzle with many pieces. All the "nothing but" factors are a part of the puzzle. The trouble is that too many people who solve a part of the puzzle will then claim that they have solved the whole picture.

Like well-meaning aunt Rosa whose grandchild could stop taking Ritalin after her diet was cleaned up. So now Aunt Rosa goes around telling everyone who will listen that ADD is a scam and it is nothing but low blood sugar.

This is totally maddening to parents of kids who have multiple challenges.

With that out of the way, keeping the brain gauge above Empty at all times is one of the first things to do for your ADD child.

A brain on empty simply cannot think. Trying to reason with a child whose brain has run out of fuel is useless. The only brain left is the primitive part, the reptile brain that takes care of the flight-or fight function.

When our son was little we occasionally had to force a teaspoon full of honey into a screaming tantrumming child. Within moments we had a sweet reasonable little boy.
My mother, who was pretty skeptical about this whole sugar thing, said she would never have believed it if she had not seen it.

Hypoglycemia is easy to manage once you are aware of it.

Avoid junk foods and empty calories like white bread and pasta.
Eat WHOLE foods that go through the system more slowly.
Eat some fat and protein with every meal and use healthy snacks in between meals and just before bedtime.
Instead of giving a child apple juice, let him drink water and feed him whole apple slices with some nut butter to dip them in. Dense foods like nut butter are rich in protein and minerals and take a while to digest.

Ask the school to make sure that your child eats his snack and his lunch during the day.

Your resource for the day is my favorite book on nutrition and the brain.

“The Crazy Makers, How the Food Industry is destroying our brains and harming our children.” by Carol Simontacchi

Coping with ADD part 5: Baby steps to an orderly home

Natural approaches take us away from the magic pill solution.

ADD is not a simple condition. We need to think and/and, not either/or. The right teaching methods AND the right food, etc.

ADD children do better in an orderly environment with clear rules. Unfortunately ADD runs in families. So one or both parents may be ADD as well. That makes it harder to create the best home for the child.

My mother was what FlyLady would call a BO: Born Organized. She ruled her household with 4 children in a flat that was much too small with an iron hand. It was always clean, with home-cooked meals at a set table at set times. Alas, you cannot teach a skill that comes naturally to you.

I suspect ADD in both myself and my husband. Our home was loving and full of books, but it certainly was not orderly. Chaos outside leads to more chaos inside!

Today's resource is my guru: FLYLady!! Have you heard of FlyLady? I sure wish she had been around in the eighties. But Marla Cilley had to be a depressed and abused housewife herself before she could develop into the teacher that she is today.
FlyLady is a system to get your house in order and so much more. FLY actually stands for: Finally Loving Yourself. That is a clear sign that this is about a lot more than a clean house.

A shiny sink is the first step on a journey that leads out of CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) to a well-organized household whose members are free to FLY.

FlyLady never uses the ADD word. She calls herself and her kindred spirits SHE, for Side-tracked Home Executive. But many of the grateful people writing in to thank her call themselves ADD.

A favorite moment in my past life as a network marketer had nothing to do with a sale but everything with FlyLady. I had met this lady in Alaska on an online health group. We hit it off and connected off list. She tried my favorite brain food and loved it. Alas, the next time I called to see how she was doing she had fallen on hard times and couldn't afford any more.
However: I had told her about Flylady. Under Marla Cilley's loving guidance she had de-cluttered her home and developed routines. She was able to host meetings of an organization she belonged to. Her depression had lifted significantly, even without extra brainfood. We had a great visit and she thanked me for changing her life.

So please, do yourself a big favor and visit FlyLady. Honestly, this may change your life.
http://flylady.net/

Coping with ADD part4: ADD compared to Diabetes

People sometimes compare ADD to Diabetes, usually in a discussion on medication.

"You wouldn't deny a diabetic child Insulin, would you? Stimulant medication is to ADD what Insulin is to Diabetes. Now get it!"

Maybe we should take that a bit further.
Diabetes is typically controlled not only with a drug, but also with lifestyle changes.

Having diabetes does not mean you cannot live life to the fullest, but it does mean you have to be more aware of your body.

If your child were diagnosed with diabetes you would watch her diet like a hawk.

A diabetic learns to be alert to the warning signs of her own body.
Insulin or not, she needs to maintain the right balance between food intake, exercise, and prescription medications.

Insulin-dependent diabetics can often reduce the amount they need by living right and by using diet, exercise, food supplements, and herbs.

Oral medications like Medformin work fine for some, but come with horrid side effects for others.
Diabetics with type 2 (adult onset) may be able to control it with lifestyle changes only. So type 2 people who prefer the natural approach may well try diet changes and more exercise first.

And so it is with ADD.
Some may do better with medication, no matter how carefully they live. Others will be fine without as long as they watch their lifestyle.

Like diabetics ADDers have to become more self-aware. We have to pay closer attention to the situations in which we function at our best, the food that agrees with us, and so on.

I have learned much from my own son, who is now a remarkable young man of 30.

Alex knows he has to eat a large, protein-rich breakfast within an hour of getting up, or his balance is off for the whole day. He knows he needs probiotics on a regular basis to fight a tendency to bronchial trouble.

He knows he has to create the right balance in his life between rest and stimulation. Too little to do will tip him over into lethargy, but overload will lead to insomnia. And so on.

Knowing oneself is the work of a lifetime anyway.

Coping with ADD part 3: Medication?

Our first question was: Is ADD real?

We decided that the answer doesn't really matter.
We'll use the label because it makes it easier to talk.
The working hypothesis is: ADD is real but over-diagnosed.

Now let's tackle the next thorny question: medication.

Repeat: We are looking for ways to cope, not to score points in an ideological war. So let's think and/and, not either/or.

The spirit of this series is: Try drug-free ways first. They may be enough.
Medication if necessary, but not necessarily medication.

I cheer every time I hear a natural success story like this one, shared with permission by a Mom named Laura. We met on an online group. Laura put her hyperactive son on a gfcf diet. That means no gluten, no casein. No wheat, no milk or other dairy. Here is what happened:

"My son was hyperactive, aggressive and destructive. Many times a day I had to physically pull him off his (older and bigger) sister, or scream at him because he was about to hit her with something heavy. Punishment had no effect on his behavior, but a terrible effect on his self-esteem.

The day before our diet change, he stood on his chair at the dinner table, yelling and throwing things. The day after, he sat at the table and ate with us. It's been a miracle for our family. My kids now play together for hours. They have ordinary kid tiffs, which are over in two minutes and rarely physical. I have my sweet, sensitive little boy back."

Careful experimenting with a choice of good whole foods is harmless. If it doesn't work you lose nothing. Read more about his on Dr. Bate's website in the side bar.

On the other hand, I met a 9-year old online who said his first day on Ritalin was the best day of his life. Who am I to argue with that? We don't need guilt trips for parents who use stimulant medication.

One thing becomes clear when you read the individual stories: Pharmaceutical drugs are not risk-free. One child's sanity-saving medication can be another child's nightmare.

If your child is not medicated yet you might want to try all natural remedies and coping tools first. They may be enough.
If you need medication, think and/and.

A well-nourished child whose allergies are under control and whose individual learning style is being respected will be better off whether she is on medication or not.

Today's resource is some excellent online support groups.

Many of the parents on the first two lists use medication. They are wonderful warm people who know what you are going through. If you want to learn about Concerta vs. Adderall for instance, don't ask me, ask them.
Groups are also a fount of knowledge on how to make school and health systems work for you.

ADD-ADHD-Parents-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.
adhdparentssupportgroup-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
ADHD_DrugFree-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
If you use medication, what have you tried before?
Leave a comment or contact me: mailto:ienvan@gmail.com?subject=ADD

Coping with ADD part 2: Does ADD/ADHD exist?

Let's get one question out of the way first. Is ADD/ADHD even real?

This question can lead to bitter arguments. Parents with a difficult child often have to put up with advice from people in both camps.

The discussion goes more or less like this.
People who believe that ADD/ADHD is a disease will say:

"ADD is like Diabetes or needing glasses. The treatment for ADD is Ritalin or other medication, just like the treatment for Diabetes is Insulin. What are you waiting for? Get the kid on drugs already!"

This attitude is often taken by schools. That is scary.
ADD/ADHD can be 'diagnosed' on very flimsy grounds. Cash-strapped schools get extra money for diagnosed pupils. Parents may be under pressure to drug the child before other options have been tried.

Stimulant drugs like Ritalin and Adderall may be helpful, especially for a short period. Think of them as training wheels for the brain. Sherlock Holmes used cocaine to help him solve crimes. Ritalin is a close relative. But drugs have side effects and they may mask other problems. Your child may need a different teaching method or treatment for his allergies.

Then there are the people who do not believe that ADD/ADHD exists at all.
The sentence 'ADHD is nothing but' has many possible endings.
Think of 'boys being boys' , untreated allergies, learning disabilities, sugar sensitivity, nutritional deficiencies, and the all-time favorite: 'poor parenting'.

People who don't believe ADD/ADHD exists can really lay a guilt trip on parents who resort to medication. Such folks should be strongly encouraged to show how right they are by taking care of the unmedicated child for a week.

I don't know if ADD/ADHD exists, or if it is just a way of being human. It had not been invented yet when I was a child. Yes, psychiatric conditions are literally voted into existence. When our son was growing up no one in our small town had heard of ADD without the H.

We will use the term ADD because it is quicker to type then:
"people-who-have-trouble-focusing-and are hypersensitive and-may also have-allergies-and learning disabilities-and sensory-issues-and-tend-to-have-temper-tantrums-and-poor-social-skills- but-on-the-plus-side-are-very-creative-and-original etc. etc."
The term ADD will be used for the condition with or without the obvious hyper behaviour.

The working hypothesis is this:
ADD is a real condition but it is totally overdiagnosed. Other conditions like the ones mentioned above can cause ADD-like behavior. However, people with real ADD are also prone to allergies, hypoglycemia, poor sleep patterns, learning disabilities and other ADD mimicking conditions.

So how does one tell if a child has "real ADD" or merely for instance allergies causing ADD symptoms? Guess what: It doesn't matter!

We are looking for non-drug ways to help our children. We are not taking part in an ideological war or looking for scientific proof. If something works for your child you have a 100% success rate in the only way that matters.

Let's take allergy treatment as an example.
Susie had been unable to focus in class because of her allergies. Once her allergies were treated she needed no further help. Susie had allergies causing ADD symptoms.

Johnny on the other hand has "real ADD", along with allergies. Once Johnny's allergies are under control he is a healthier and happier child but he still needs other help.

I'd like to hear from people. What's working for you?
If you use medication, what have you tried before?

email me mailto:ienvan@gmail.com?subject=ADD

See side bar for helpful websites.

Coping with ADD part 1:Let go of the guilt!

Before we start: Let go of the guilt!

If you are reading this, you care. That is why you are taking the time to educate yourself.
Guilt keeps coming up in the heart-wrenching posts from caring parents to internet support groups.

Some parents feel guilty because they are medicating their child. The kids may still be struggling after trying a list of drugs with bad side effects. Now the parents feel guilty about using their child as a human guinea pig.

But just as many parents feel guilty because they did not medicate their child right away. A simple stimulant made their child's life much easier. They can live with the side effects. They feel guilty about waiting so long.

Or perhaps the the child has unusual eye or ear problems, like our son did.
The parent feels guilty about not detecting them earlier. And so on.

Whatever your reason for feeling guilty : Let it go! You have done the best you could with what you knew at the time. There are no magic answers that work for everyone.

Today is a new beginning for yourself and your child.

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) can help you to feel clear and calm in the here and now. It can also help your child to calm down. This amazing tool for living is quite literally free at your fingertips. Just Google it,

See side bar for helpful websites.

I like to hear from people. What's working for you?
If you use medication, what have you tried before?
contact me: mailto:ienvan@gmail.com?subject=ADD